Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Storms

Curfews in dorms suck.

A storm is raging right outside my window. I want to go step into the rain, feel the power as the thunder shakes the ground and my clothes are dripping with the water, the lightning flashes offer glimpses of the world as it is, scary.

I am scared, scared of what I have become, scared of the choices I have made, scared of what I am when I look in the mirror.

Scared of what is going to happen when I close my eyes and fall asleep. Scared of the dreams that may come.

I have been hanging out in Psalms 71 recently, a random find of Scripture when David was scared.

"Rescue me and deliver me in your righteousness;
turn your ear to me and save me

Be my rock of refuge,
to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress."

Psalm 71:2-3

I have been praying, and praying, and praying. At times for every problem to be solved, and times for every problem to just disappear.

My faith is small, which means my fortress is small. Is knowing that going to make things any better?

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