Smooth

I shaved, again, total baby face.

Since it is so cold and basketball has not been so much of a relaxing thing as it usually is, and more of a bored why am I still playing thing, shaving has become a way to relax.

It is a way to start a new, go a few days and get some scruffle, then shave so that you recognize the face looking back at you, it has gone from personnel grooming to a spiritual experience, like when I take showers until we are out of hot water at home and I just stand there and enjoy the warm liquid rolling down my skin.

Only a fool looks at himself in the mirror and forget what he looks like as soon as he leaves.

I keep staring, hoping that at some point I will remember what I am supposed to do when I was so sure so recently that I was doing right.

I just don't know...

The sounds of the White Stripes have been bombarding me all day.

I just don't know what to do with myself.

I was afraid to come back home, then I was afraid to come back to school, and now nothing really seems to be... Fun.

And at the same time I am not depressed like I was when I first got to Barclay, I remember the feeling of dread every time I left my room for the first few months I was here and now I have no problems with it. I just am struggling to find a point to any of it.

Dude, I don't like being emo Patric.

Time for bed, maybe my cold is effecting my mood.